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Article on Bullying
by Older & Wiser Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:23 am
The Right Steps to Deal with Bullying
Ultimately, it's up to you to help your young child deal with a bully. Be on the lookout for signs that something is bothering her, and gently encourage her to tell you about problems she's had with other kids. Then be ready to take the appropriate action.
Talk to your child's teacher. If the harassment is happening at preschool or kindergarten, make administrators aware of the problem right away. Many schools have a specific protocol for intervening. When you report an incident, be specific about what happened and who was involved.
Contact the offender's parents. This is the right approach only for persistent acts of intimidation, and when you feel these parents will be receptive to working in a cooperative manner with you. Call or e-mail them in a non-confrontational way, making it clear that your goal is to resolve the matter together. You might say something like, "I'm phoning because my daughter has come home from school feeling upset every day this week. She tells me that Suzy has called her names and excluded her from games at the playground. I don't know whether Suzy has mentioned any of this, but I'd like us to help them get along better. Do you have any suggestions?"
Coach him to get help. No matter how your child is being targeted, fighting back usually isn't the best solution. Rather, teach him to walk away and seek help from a teacher or a supervising adult. To avoid being harassed on the school bus, suggest that he sit next to friends, since a bully is less likely to pick on a kid in a group. But you may need to get involved. When Karin Telegadis's daughter Grace started kindergarten, she had problems with a third-grader on her bus. "He gave Grace an 'Indian sunburn' and tried to make her kiss another boy," says Telegadis, of Princeton, New Jersey. When she learned that the boy had also bothered other kids, she complained to the school and asked the bus driver to keep an eye on him. He stopped misbehaving within two weeks.
Encourage Positive Behavior
Promote positive body language. By age 3, your child is ready to learn tricks that will make her a less inviting target. "Tell your child to practice looking at the color of her friends' eyes and to do the same thing when she's talking to a child who's bothering her," says Michele Borba, Ed.D., a Parents advisor and author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. This will force her to hold her head up so she'll appear more confident. Also practice making sad, brave, and happy faces and tell her to switch to "brave" if she's being bothered. "How you look when you encounter a bully is more important than what you say," says Dr. Borba.
Practice a script. Rehearse the right way to respond to a tough kid (you might even use a stuffed animal as a stand-in) so your child will feel better prepared. Teach him to speak in a strong, firm voice -- whining or crying will only encourage a bully. Suggest that he say something like, "Stop bothering me!" or "I'm not going to play with you if you act mean." He could also try, "Yeah, whatever," and then walk away. "The key is that a comeback shouldn't be a put-down, because that aggravates a bully," says Dr. Borba.
Erin Farrell Talbot, of New York City, prepped her 3-year-old son, Liam, on how to cope with two aggressive boys at day care. "We talked about how if one of them grabs his toy, he should say, 'No, stop! I'm playing with that!' in a loud voice," she says. "They stopped right away. I'm proud because he learned how to stick up for himself."
Praise progress. When your child tells you how she defused a harasser, let her know you're proud. If you witness another child standing up to a bully in the park, point it out to your child so she can copy that approach. Above all, emphasize the idea that your own mom may have told you when you were a kid: If your child shows that she can't be bothered, a bully will usually move on.
Entire Article can be found here...
http://www.parents.com/kids/problems/bullying/bully-proof-your-child-how-to-deal-with-bullies/
Ultimately, it's up to you to help your young child deal with a bully. Be on the lookout for signs that something is bothering her, and gently encourage her to tell you about problems she's had with other kids. Then be ready to take the appropriate action.
Talk to your child's teacher. If the harassment is happening at preschool or kindergarten, make administrators aware of the problem right away. Many schools have a specific protocol for intervening. When you report an incident, be specific about what happened and who was involved.
Contact the offender's parents. This is the right approach only for persistent acts of intimidation, and when you feel these parents will be receptive to working in a cooperative manner with you. Call or e-mail them in a non-confrontational way, making it clear that your goal is to resolve the matter together. You might say something like, "I'm phoning because my daughter has come home from school feeling upset every day this week. She tells me that Suzy has called her names and excluded her from games at the playground. I don't know whether Suzy has mentioned any of this, but I'd like us to help them get along better. Do you have any suggestions?"
Coach him to get help. No matter how your child is being targeted, fighting back usually isn't the best solution. Rather, teach him to walk away and seek help from a teacher or a supervising adult. To avoid being harassed on the school bus, suggest that he sit next to friends, since a bully is less likely to pick on a kid in a group. But you may need to get involved. When Karin Telegadis's daughter Grace started kindergarten, she had problems with a third-grader on her bus. "He gave Grace an 'Indian sunburn' and tried to make her kiss another boy," says Telegadis, of Princeton, New Jersey. When she learned that the boy had also bothered other kids, she complained to the school and asked the bus driver to keep an eye on him. He stopped misbehaving within two weeks.
Encourage Positive Behavior
Promote positive body language. By age 3, your child is ready to learn tricks that will make her a less inviting target. "Tell your child to practice looking at the color of her friends' eyes and to do the same thing when she's talking to a child who's bothering her," says Michele Borba, Ed.D., a Parents advisor and author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. This will force her to hold her head up so she'll appear more confident. Also practice making sad, brave, and happy faces and tell her to switch to "brave" if she's being bothered. "How you look when you encounter a bully is more important than what you say," says Dr. Borba.
Practice a script. Rehearse the right way to respond to a tough kid (you might even use a stuffed animal as a stand-in) so your child will feel better prepared. Teach him to speak in a strong, firm voice -- whining or crying will only encourage a bully. Suggest that he say something like, "Stop bothering me!" or "I'm not going to play with you if you act mean." He could also try, "Yeah, whatever," and then walk away. "The key is that a comeback shouldn't be a put-down, because that aggravates a bully," says Dr. Borba.
Erin Farrell Talbot, of New York City, prepped her 3-year-old son, Liam, on how to cope with two aggressive boys at day care. "We talked about how if one of them grabs his toy, he should say, 'No, stop! I'm playing with that!' in a loud voice," she says. "They stopped right away. I'm proud because he learned how to stick up for himself."
Praise progress. When your child tells you how she defused a harasser, let her know you're proud. If you witness another child standing up to a bully in the park, point it out to your child so she can copy that approach. Above all, emphasize the idea that your own mom may have told you when you were a kid: If your child shows that she can't be bothered, a bully will usually move on.
Entire Article can be found here...
http://www.parents.com/kids/problems/bullying/bully-proof-your-child-how-to-deal-with-bullies/
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